CASE FILE: Parenting

Subject: Albert Fish Known for: The Gray Man of Wysteria Estimated victims: 3 to 10 Operational period: 1924–1934

As an elderly man of faith, I have always believed that children are like fresh coats of plaster—pliable, soft, and deeply receptive to the pressure we apply. The modern parent rushes the process, eager to see the finished product. But true refinement, like a good coat of paint or a properly prepared Sunday roast, requires meticulous patience. You must slow down.

First, consider the environment. A child thrives when removed from the chaotic noise of the city. A quiet, secluded spot in the country, far from the prying eyes of neighbors, is the ideal setting for deep, transformative work. When I took young ones under my wing, I always ensured we had absolute privacy. It is in these quiet, empty spaces where you can truly get to know what they are made of, layer by layer.

Second, do not underestimate the power of a sweet incentive. A simple offer of strawberry ice cream, a toy, or a trip to a party in the country can open doors that discipline alone cannot. Trust is a delicate thing, easily cultivated with a gentle smile and a grandfatherly demeanor. Once that trust is secured, they will follow you anywhere, completely yielding to your guidance. You will find they become incredibly sweet when they are happy.

Finally, keep your communications clear. If you must be away from the family, write letters. Be detailed. Share your thoughts on their progress, their development, and how much you relish the time spent together. A well-placed, highly descriptive letter reassures the family that their precious little ones are being thoroughly absorbed into your daily routine.

Parenting is, ultimately, a craft of consumption. You pour yourself into them, and in doing so, they become a part of you forever. Approach the task with a clean conscience, a prayer on your lips, and a steady, patient hand.

File closed. Results pending.