CASE FILE: Home Improvement

Subject: Alexander Pichushkin Known for: The Chessboard Killer Estimated victims: 48-60 Operational period: 1992-2006

When embarking on a home renovation, particularly flooring, one must abandon the chaos of spontaneity. A successful project requires a strict layout. I have always preferred a classic chessboard pattern—eight by eight. It provides a clean, predictable structure. There is a profound satisfaction in watching an empty grid slowly fill up, one square at a time, until the entire space is occupied.

Many amateurs make the mistake of rushing. They lay a few tiles, get tired, and leave the floor incomplete. This is a failure of discipline. If you set a target—say, sixty-four pieces—you must commit to seeing it through to the very end. Leaving a project unfinished at forty-eight is a tragedy of logistics, a permanent reminder of what could have been.

To begin, prep your substrate. The ground must be deeply prepared, cleared of any loose debris, and leveled perfectly. You do not want anything resurfacing later to ruin the flat finish. When placing your tiles, location is everything. Some prefer the quiet isolation of a private basement, but I find working in a vast, open space—like a public park—adds a certain thrill to the labor. The fresh air keeps the mind sharp.

Once your tile is positioned, you must secure it. A heavy, rubber-headed mallet is your best friend here. Do not tap lightly; a firm, decisive strike is required to seat the piece permanently into the adhesive. You want to ensure that once a piece is laid, it can never move again. Listen for the hollow sound—if it sounds empty underneath, you haven’t packed it tightly enough.

Finally, seal the joints. Clean up any excess mortar immediately before it hardens. When you stand back and look at your completed grid, you will realize that each individual piece was necessary to fulfill the grand design.

File closed. Results pending.