CASE FILE: Travel
Subject: Carl Panzram Known for: Uncompromising misanthropy and global maritime wanderlust Estimated victims: 21+ Operational period: 1915–1929
Travel, at its core, is an exercise in shedding weight. People carry far too much baggage through life—both literal and figurative. When you embark on a journey, whether it is across the state line or across the Atlantic, your primary goal should be absolute self-reliance. If you cannot carry it on your back, or if it cannot be easily dropped over the side of a vessel without making a splash, you simply do not need it.
I have always found that the best destinations are those where the local authorities are sparse and the terrain is unforgiving. The open sea, for instance, offers a level of privacy that landlubbers can never comprehend. If you are planning a maritime excursion, invest in a sturdy vessel. I once owned a yacht. It taught me that a good captain never relies on a large crew. The more people you have on board, the more voices you have to manage, and eventually, someone is bound to disagree with your direction. It is far more efficient to travel solo, or with companions who are quiet, cooperative, and willing to go deep beneath the surface of things.
When traveling by rail, the rules change slightly. You must learn to blend into the scenery. Do not buy first-class tickets; they leave an unnecessary paper trail that others can use to track your progress. Instead, learn the art of the boxcar. It is drafty, yes, but it teaches you the value of silence. If you happen to encounter an unwelcome passenger in the dark, do not engage in idle chatter. A simple, firm intervention is usually enough to ensure they give you your space—or vacate the carriage entirely at the next sharp bend.
Ultimately, the perfect trip is one where you return alone, refreshed, and entirely unaccounted for. The world is full of people who want to tell you where to go. Your job is to make sure they never see you coming, and certainly never see you leave.
File closed. Results pending.