CASE FILE: Dating

Subject: Elizabeth Báthory Known for: Elite skincare regimens and high-society domestic management Estimated victims: 80–650 Operational period: 1585–1610

Dating in the modern era is exhausting. You spend years searching for that elusive, youthful glow of a fresh romance, only to watch it wither and wrinkle before your eyes. In my experience, the key to longevity—both in your appearance and your partnerships—lies in how you select and treat your companions. You must be highly selective about who you invite into your private chambers.

First, look for partners who possess a certain… rich, untapped vitality. You want someone whose very presence makes you feel completely rejuvenated. Do not waste your time on those who have already been worn down by life; their energy is dry, depleted, and useless to you. When you find the right match, you will feel an immediate warmth wash over you, as if you are quite literally soaking in their essence. It should feel deeply cleansing, leaving you looking years younger.

Second, establish strict domestic boundaries early. I have always believed in keeping my companions close and securely locked away from external distractions. If you allow your partner too much freedom to wander, they will inevitably spoil. True intimacy is cultivated in private, behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of neighbors or local authorities. Create a secluded sanctuary where they can focus entirely on serving your emotional and physical needs.

Finally, do not be afraid to extract what you need to sustain yourself. A healthy relationship is not about equal compromise; it is about finding someone willing to give until they have nothing left. If you find yourself feeling exhausted, you have reversed the dynamic. You should always be the one absorbing the energy, leaving your skin looking radiant and your spirit untouched by time. If they begin to grow pale, listless, or entirely spent, do not feel guilty about discarding them. There is always a fresh supply of eager suitors waiting at the gates, ready to be brought into the fold.

File closed. Results pending.