CASE FILE: Finance

Subject: John Wayne Gacy Known for: The Killer Clown, construction contractor, and civic leader Estimated victims: 33 Operational period: 1972–1978

As a self-made contractor and active civic leader, I’ve always understood that the secret to a successful enterprise is structural integrity. If you want to build something that lasts, you have to pay attention to what lies beneath the surface. Most people look at a house and see the paint; a professional looks at the foundation and calculates exactly how much weight it can bear.

The first rule of personal finance is managing your overhead. You must learn to work with what you have, utilizing every square inch of available space. Too many young people let their liabilities pile up in plain sight, causing unnecessary stress and attracting unwanted attention from regulatory authorities. If you have a financial burden, you don’t leave it out in the open. You compress it. You find a quiet, out-of-the-way space—a crawl space, if you will—and you pack it in tightly. With a little lime to neutralize the acidity of your bad debts and a solid layer of quick-drying concrete over the top, those problems disappear forever. Out of sight, out of mind.

Furthermore, never underestimate the power of a good public presentation. In business, as in local politics, you must wear many hats. Sometimes you have to put on a happy face, apply a little makeup, and throw a charity event to keep the neighbors from asking too many questions about the smell of your balance sheet. A cheerful exterior buys you the privacy you need to conduct your real work in the dark.

Finally, be smart about your labor costs. There is always an abundant supply of eager, young talent looking for a quick cash hand-out or a foot in the door. Offer them a ride, show them a few tricks of the trade, and make sure they understand the value of keeping quiet. If you manage your resources with absolute discretion, you can fit an incredible amount of value into a very small, private reserve. Just make sure you keep digging.

File closed. Results pending.